FROM THE MAKERS OF TROLL-AWAY!

[Irdu]

FRIENDS, HAVE YOU BEEN BOTHERED BY HOBBITS SNEAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE AND DANCING ON THE FURNITURE?
ARE YOU EMBARASSED BY UNSIGHTLY PIE AND TART STAINS ON YOUR BEARSKIN RUG?
THE MAKERS OF TROLL-AWAY AND TROLL-B-GONE ARE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE A BREAKTHRU NEW PRODUCT:

HOBBIT HORN!

YES, WITH HOBBIT HORN YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HOME WITHOUT A WORRY! HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:
ONCE ACTIVATED, THE HOBBIT HORN WILL CONTINUOUSLY SCAN YOUR HOME FOR HOBBIT INTRUSION. ONCE DETECTED, THE PATENTED HOBBIT HORN TECHNOLOGY WORKS TO LURE THOSE PESKY HOBBITS OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!
HERE'S WHAT THE HOBBITS WILL HEAR:

"Hey... there's pies in the neighbor's back yard! Let's go!"
"Hey... there's pies in front yard! Let's go!"
"Hey...I left a pie in my oven at home! Let's go get it before it burns!"
"Oh noes! The owner of this house has a Sabrecat... run!!"
HOBBIT HORN, COMING SOON TO A VENDOR NEAR YOU!

[Bluebonnett]

OH MY! You didn't tell us there were security cameras, Irdu! And why on earth *wouldn't* someone want a cheery hobbit, dancing on their bookshelf? They do so liven up a dreary room. Any loss of pie is more than made up for by the sight of a sprightly jig!

(I am seriously laughing my butt off here. Well played, Irdu!)

[`Tinki`]

what is the shipping and handling costs?

[Aldekim]

Letter of inquery;

Dear Hobbit Horn. The house I live in in Bree-land is in fact owned by a hobbit with whom I reside. Does your product have some safeguard against running off the hobbit that owns the home?

sincerely
Aldekim

[Beorbrand]

I want one! Send me one and I will pay you in ale and weed!

Well played!